The Lovely Rain-Porch, or What happened to Wednesday?

Once a week, I try to go to my favorite coffeeshop in town, The Lively Iris. I pack up my computer, notebook, headphones, a book if I need it, and a bag of my tarot cards in case I need to do a reading.

Having a weekly cafe time gets me out of the house and into a cafe setting where I can guzzle a latte, scarf a pastry and a breakfast panini, listen to the classical/jazz/folk/easy rock mix in the atmosphere and the sounds of local people coming in and chatting with the staff. It’s a reminder of community for me, but also just a little hustle and bustle. In that hustle and bustle I can settle in to work sometimes. Other times, it is me chatting with staff and local people. Recently we have been talking about forming a writing group, and that’s exciting.

It was raining this morning, a lovely rain, as I drove to town. Outside my car windows lay the vast fields of this season’s unharvested giant marshmallow crop.

***

I live out in the forest with my partner about 15 minutes from town in northeast Tennessee. The houses get fewer, further between, and you get more forests and flood plains and the river. Soon, I’ll be approaching our driveway which is about 3/4 of a mile long through the forest. By the time you reach our place, you are deeply sequestered from most traces of city or people. You can see the occasional plane fly overhead. You can lose track of the world.

Which isn’t a bad thing, really, until you lose a Wednesday.

I don’t know if we had two Mondays or two Tuesdays this week, but I expected this to be Wednesday, and I went in to town to find my favorite coffeeshop and it was closed. At first, I thought someone had been sick, and I checked the posted Hours and, yeah, they’re only closed on Thursdays and Sundays, and I assured myself that this wasn’t Thursday.

But it was. I was wrong.

***

When you live in the woods, time can just blur. The cities and the towns keep the rhythm of the days of the week, the heartbeat of community and responsibilities and the flow of cars and people and time. The forest, though, keeps a different time.

But then, so does my partner.

He politely sidesteps (refuses to adapt to) Daylight Savings Time, so for six months out of the year, we are in two different time zones. When I lived in Ohio and he lived here in East Tennessee, he was ahead of me an hour for no explicable reason but his decision to stay on a permanent time zone. Well, that sometimes played into our long distance relationship as 9pm was too late now to start a movie since it was actually 10pm where he was. His nights ended more quickly. We had less time to spend with each other like, you know, lovers in actual different time zones.

But now that I live here with him, none of that changed. LOL. He still has his own time zone. We live in the same house and for 6 months that house will be divided into two roaming time zones… as we walk around. I will be in one and he will be in another, so our suppers will probably start at 4pm and he will go to bed at 9 or 10 pm. I have to think of him as a shift worker and make adjustments accordingly.

Forest Time is probably not unusual. I remember living in the Yukon and there was Yukon Time—and that meant time schedules were fuzzy and blurry for many people–unless you were in the Arts and then you needed people to get there at 7:30pm when the show started. Did they? Most of the time, yes, but if they didn’t, then they were said to be “on Yukon Time.”

But this Forest Time got me today.

And I finally understood how my partner could be in a different time zone.

The days all look similar, and if you don’t go out to visit anyone, you can forget what day of the week it is. We did. We both thought it was Wednesday. Even though we watched “Margot’s Got Money Troubles” yesterday—which is normal for us to watch it the day after it comes out on Tuesday. But I think we both just didn’t register that. We were busy doing some emergency rewiring of the house. He is more of the electrician and I help. But we were doing that and we were mixing up bait traps for the carpenter ants that had invaded my bedroom. And having budget talks. He was programming and I was writing and editing. And we were reading and watching Youtube videos and playing with the cats. And the forest just did its thing.

And somehow removed Wednesday from our minds. Which, if you think about it, is quite an achievement.

I texted my partner from town.

Well, we’ve been off a whole day all week. It’s Thursday. The cafe was closed, I told him.

what

Yep. We both thought it was Wednesday.

Omg. I’ll make coffee.

Lol. Okay, I’m coming back.

***

When I got home, I barreled right across the open air porch into the house, carrying all my stuff.

My partner was in the kitchen. “You walked right past it,” he said.

I turned around. What didn’t I see?

I went back out onto the porch and there was this beautiful little breakfast scene he’d created. A flower in a mason jar on the picnic table with two settings. Paintings were up on the outside walls of the porch.

“There’s a sign too,” he pointed to the steps coming up to the porch.

Written in his handwriting, it read, The Lovely Rain-Porch.

He didn’t want me to miss out on my cafe-time, so he created a cafe on our porch.

He made us coffee, and was about to make omelets, but I surprised him with gas station breakfast sandwiches (which are actually very good). We had paper towels with small spoons set to stir our respective coffees, and art all around us. A little outdoor cafe.

So we had breakfast on the Lovely Rain-Porch, with the rain coming down through the trees and a cool breeze across the porch. To make it feel more familiar, he flipped open a laptop. But only to check the weather map. We ate breakfast, and the cats came up on the table to visit us. And I have been charmed all over again by the man I love.

So, yeah, I might have lost Wednesday somewhere, but in its place, I got repeating days—a few extra Mondays or Tuesdays–and this one.

Yeah, this is a good day to have on repeat.

My painting, “Coming Out at the Last Supper,” to be part of exhibition at L’Antiquaille in Lyon, France

My painting, “”Coming Out at the Last Supper,” will be part of an exhibition happening in July at L’Antiquaille, a museum of Early Christianity in Lyon, France, as part of a larger exhibition put on by the Archdiocese of Lyon on depictions of the Last Supper in Art. The exhibit is called “Mises en Cène” and it runs from July 1 through August 30 and then moves to another location through October, I think. My painting is in the final section of the exhibition labeled “Blasphemy? Sacrilege? Are you so sure?” This part of the exhibition asks viewers to think about how queer artists are exploring aspects of inclusion in the ministry of Christ.

I am SO honored to be part of this exhibition. My painting was found online by the person curating the exhibition and I was asked in 2025 if I wanted to be a part of it.

Many artists have depicted the Last Supper. It’s a popular tableau. It’s also been a part of marketing–since it is so famous. Anytime you have everyone on one side of a table, you have the chance of making the tableau. Try it at home!

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Would you like a tarot reader on retainer?

Have you ever wished you had a Tarot Reader on retainer?

In addition to writing, teaching, and making art, I’m a tarot reader. You can read my tarot blog over at bigbeartarot.com. It’s what I do. I’m six years in and I enjoy helping people.

I created a Patreon for those who want to get a tarot card of the day, and a little insight into that card with some clarifiers, as well as other perks—and two of them are the BEAR GUIDE or BEAR ADVISER levels.

You can have me–your own personal tarot reader– on retainer for only $50 a month you can have one reading a month (value $70) or a live 1 hr Celtic Cross reading with oracle cards and advice for $90 a month (value $150). You can also offer your monthly reading to another person—a friend, family member, the Pope. It doesn’t matter. As long as I know it’s YOUR monthly reading they are using, I can do it. (You can definitely have MORE than one reading a month, but those would be at regular price.)

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Where is the Line?

“Where is the line?” by Jerome Stueart, (11 x 15), watercolor, mixed media on paper, 1/27/2026.

This illustration comes after the killings of Renee Good and Alex Pretti in Minneapolis by ICE agents, and after countless acts of violence and illegal arrest of citizens and non-citizens alike across the US. As an artist I don’t know how to respond to the violence happening now, but I appeal to those still supporting ICE.

Is there a line for you?

Asking for a country.

Revolution Begins at Home

“Revolution Begins at Home,” Jerome Stueart, (11 x 15), watercolor, mixed media on paper. October 18, 2025.

______________

Today, many (2 million?) of us are going to be protesting for #NoKings and maybe you’ve attended one of these protests across the country. They are exciting and powerful and you can see hundreds and maybe thousands in your city standing up for change. These protests are powerful things. I’ve seen the ones in New York City and Chicago (on TV) and they give me hope.

But maybe you’ve been part of something else, something smaller. Have you been to a house meeting where you meet your neighbors and strategize over soup how to be effective in strategic campaigns or actions that can help stop some of the negative consequences of Trump policies. Maybe your group is part of the Indivisible or No Kings movement. hey may not look like a movement–if you were looking for thousands of bodies to affirm your stance–but I can argue that they are the places–these living rooms–that will begin change in the country. Movements are born AND SUSTAINED in living rooms and dining rooms of your neighbor’s house.

These small house meetings are where you can find others who feel the way you do, where people can come together and think of ways to change the system. This isn’t about organizing the vote, it’s about voting to organize. All these small home meetings are where revolution happens–and I hope you find a good meeting near you, or start one in your home. This is what Democracy, what Revolution, looks like right now. These meetings of concerned citizens who want to create change.

And the big protests are an outlet for those people too–where we can all come together, peacefully, for change. Here’s where you hatch ideas that 20 people can carry out, and that can spread to other groups meeting in other homes. Our group talked about Cash for Change, the idea of using only cash to pay for things so that corporations don’t keep getting their share of your dollar every time you swipe a card. The store doesn’t get that money. The banks and larger credit institutions receive that percentage off of every sale. Cash for change–if a large number of people did it–would hurt the revenue they are collecting. And that’s kinda what these groups are for. How do concerned citizens get the attention of billionaires? How can we, small but mighty, make a difference against powerful people? We have power–but we have to cooperate to do it. These small groups can help foster new ideas. They still need the mass protests though–and large numbers of people. And until those numbers HURT the established order of things, until there is a general strike, people standing around for 2 hours may not make a huge difference to the oligarchs. But when people begin to stand around for days and shut things down–that may get their attention.

________

I hope your #NoKings stays peaceful. But the more powerful we become, the more there will be resistance against us too. Please be safe. 2 million people protesting will keep growing and growing, no matter what happens today. Maybe you will have some frogs or TRexes in your group too!

Keep meeting. Keep planning. Keep that spark alive. Change will happen–we will bring more people together because we have so much common ground between us, and so much to do before us. We need everyone!

Sacred Objects: Giving Life and Meaning to Everyday Things– a Writing Workshop, October 18

Join a 1-day writing workshop exploring how we make everyday things sacred. Saturday, October 18, 10:30am-1:30pm at the Sacred Owl and Salt Room in Knoxville, TN!


As humans, we can’t help but collect objects as we go through life.  Perhaps we are given something from a family member or friend. Maybe we find something at a turning point in our lives. Perhaps it is a stone, a feather, a scarf, a ring, a painting, a photo. The significance and power of an object grows over time, and can say a lot about our spiritual lives, our relationships, and what is important to us.  The sacredness that we impart to objects in our lives — this consecrating of objects–is part of the map of our spiritual journey.  This workshop will explore your spiritual journey through sacred objects.

Participants will bring 3-7 objects that have spiritual significance or deep resonance for them and will use them to write about their lives.  This can be a deeply satisfying workshop for those who want to explore themselves, and others, through sacred objects and through writing. You will learn more about your spiritual journey through sacred objects, and the journeys of others.

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In His Mighty Arms He Bears Them

In His Mighty Arms He Bears Them

What a difference the right church makes, eh? For queer and trans people, the right church can be a matter of life and death.

I grew up believing that you look for churches within the denomination you were raised in, and pretty much, if you stayed within those safe theological walls, you’d have a good experience, one that you were used to. Familiar. Like Church Branding. Stick with the Brand Name and you’d have the quality and taste you were looking for. If you grow up in “the church,” that concept is so ingrained in you. More than the brand of jeans you buy, your favorite burger place, the make of your car, even the teams you root for. None of those choices would affect the next ten thousand years of your happy eternal life. You will stick to your brand pretty strongly.

An “off-brand” church is an unknown path. I was raised to believe that Baptists (somehow) hold the Truth about Everything Spiritual and that Presbyterians were slightly off–like 10 degrees off to port. I know this is ludicrous, but follow the bouncing logic here…

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Open My Mouth and Let Me Bear

“Open my mouth, and let me bear
gladly the warm truth ev’rywhere;
Open my heart, and let me prepare
love with Thy children thus to share.
Silently now I wait for Thee,
ready, my God, Thy will to see;
open my mouth, illumine me,
Spirit divine!”

Clara Scott (1895)
“Open My Eyes that I May See”

What is it that we need to say today?

The loudest Christians, the ones interviewed, the ones that are commentators on roundtables and talk shows and discussions are conservative evangelicals. They are considered the “other side” of the argument when it comes to the value and worth of the lives of trans and queer people. I don’t like the premise. We should not be up for debate on whether we should have marriages, teach your kids, serve in the military, go to a public bathroom, or in some conversations, whether we deserve to live.

On the bright side, there are thousands of churches and many denominations of religion and faith that accept and affirm LGBTQ people as worthy of love and equal status and the right to choose their expression. I have been privileged to attend several churches like that in my life, but I know of many many more. The problem is that we just don’t hear those churches very often on the screens we are watching. Reverend Budde of the Episcopal Church made such a strong statement for the worth and care of every individual on the Inauguration of DT. She had a platform and she used it.

We don’t always get those platforms. Perhaps we are not naturally loud people. But we are going to have to speak up louder because a) people seem to think that Christianity and being LGBTQ are incompatible (they are not–and there are great books and websites which will explain the details to you if you are fuzzy on them or unsure), b) Queer people have been so hurt by evangelical churches that they can’t see the churches that will celebrate their true selves. There are whole denominations of Episcopalian Churches, Presbyterian Churches, United Church of Canada churches, United Methodist Churches, American Baptist Churches, just to name a few, that have fought for queer and trans inclusion so hard as to have endured a split in their denomination to do it.

I heard a sermon Sunday about one such divisive vote in the United Methodist Church.

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My Burden Gladly Bearing

How do we protect those we love from those who question their very worth, their humanity, their right to exist? How do we protect ourselves from that constant batt-le?

Bears are pretty powerful all by themselves, but sometimes armor is called for. Bears have claws and poundage and teeth and jaws. But these are bears I found inside music–and they work differently. In the Bible, Paul talks about putting on the armor of God–and describes breastplates of righteousness, helmets of salvation, sword of the spirit, etc. Far be it from me to edit SAINT Paul– known for his perfect wisdom about what to do with women in the church, about singleness, about sexuality– but I’m going to anyway.

The bears I had didn’t defend me by attacking others; they defended me by empowering me and equipping me with better armor, better defensive structures.

They gave me a Helmet of Empathy– a way to see others struggling to see me, a way of understanding where they were coming from so that I could see them as worthy of love too; frankly, a helmet of Salvation further divides us into “saved” and “unsaved,” worthy and unworthy. Empathy makes us all worthy of being saved, protected, understood.

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Bear Me Safely Over

Bear Me Safely Over

In my new job, as a tarot reader (spiritual life coach), I meet a lot of people who have barely survived evangelical churches. A lot. Many of them are queer like me. Others may not be queer, but they too got judged, hurt, ostracized, and/or punished for years by a church.

Our shop, The Sacred Owl and Salt Room is a sanctuary and a destination for people in East Tennessee who want to still connect to their spirituality and their faith but they don’t know if a church and steeple should come with that faith. And that’s completely understandable. Who goes back to the places that hurt you? Or even the ones that look like those places? However, something is still calling to them, and they don’t know what it is, but they want to hold on to part of the faith they were brought up in, but leave behind the exclusion, the judgement.

They want a God who is strong enough to hold them, but loving enough not to hurt them.

They want this for themselves and they want this for their kids.

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